February 2012
Normal people: Aw, look at the couple. They're so cute!
Me: I wonder if they've fucked yet.
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THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE.
okay now reblog it if you read both of those things in the voice.
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Mom: I’m going now, I want the house clean when... →
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Mom: I’m going now, I want the house clean when I’m back in 2 hours.
You: Yeah, sure thing.
Next hour and a half…
And then your mom calls to say she’ll be home in 15 minutes…
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I found a lipstick that will help you lose weight. →
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i see all the girls on tumblr being so fashionable... →
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and i’m here like
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When you drink water and there's a little black... →
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Mumbling the bits of the songs you don't know. ... →
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A woman who was 5 months pregnant falls into a... →
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Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Your brother was kind enough to name them for you. Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He’s an idiot! What did he name the girl? Doctor: Denise. Woman: Whew…thank God, maybe he’s not so dumb after all. What did he call the boy? Doctor: Denephew.
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This joke never...
When i'm in school: →
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“Im going to sleep as soon as I get home” When I get home:
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That Moment When The Substitute Teacher Says Your... →
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The Class Is Like… You’re like….
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